Dubai's Desperate Housewife

Trials and traumas of a full-time mum in Dubai

The Star Trek audition

with 9 comments

Apologies for going AWOL – life kind of attacked me all guns blazing. I’m still here, but something odd’s happened while I’ve been off the ether: the children have grown up. When I started this blog I had a baby, six months old, and a little girl, just turned four.

I now have a six-year-old and a pre-teen who’s 10 going on about 16 on a good day. (Other days, it’s more like 25, especially when she looks at my outfit and just gives me “that” look – the withering one that says “Like, seriously, Mummy? You’re going out looking like that?”)

Anyway, I digress. Star Trek. A show I remember little about except some writing disappearing off into space and a voice saying “In a galaxy far, far away…” , Dr Spock, Captain Kirk (come to think of it, with outfits not unlike The Wiggles) and something about “to boldly go” which, even has a child, I realised was incorrect use of grammar. Split infinitive. Always a pet hate.

DS could easily pass for a young Chris Pine

DS could pass for a young Chris Pine. I see it – millions may not

But it seems it’s a badly kept secret that the latest Star Trek movie is to be filmed here in Dubai next month and a casting call was put out for Dubai residents to try their chance as extras.

The kids heard the ad on the radio. The casting was taking place across the road from our house.

I tried to come up with excuses: trust me, I did.  I utilised every creative bone in my body to come up with excuses, and when that didn’t work, I switched tack: “It’s only to be an extra. You probably won’t even get picked. Even if you do get picked, you’ll be a tiny face in a crowd. You might even be dressed up as an alien wearing a mask so no-one will even know it’s you. You’ll wait about for hours on the day of filming. You’ll have to miss school. We might even be in the States for Eid.” (Technically a lie, but I’m not beyond making it happen.)

So we went to the auditions. We got the wristbands, we parked in the ‘Extras’ car park. We walked the walkway through to the studio. DD minced along like a Hollywood starlet, practising her walk for when she’s on the red carpet. I told them both to lower their expectations and prayed for a short queue.

We entered the building. The queue was short. The security guard stopped us.

“We can join the queue?” I asked, edging towards the straggle of people waiting.

“Shway-shway,” he said, holding up a hand. He had épaulettes. We waited.

A stampede of people turned the corner from the opposite direction and joined the queue.

“Now you go there,” he said and pointed us in the direction from which the stampede had just come. We stood on the brink of a film studio the size of an aircraft hangar, packed with rows of chairs. Chairs with people on them. Tired-looking people. Bored people. People with bums numb from sitting so long.

“Join the back row,” said a man wearing a ‘Crew’ lanyard. “Wait’s about three hours.”

What would you have done? Would you have stayed?

In my defence, I’ll say it was it was 4.15pm and I knew the children wouldn’t last three hours. But I am now officially the meanest mother “like, ever!”




Written by mrsdubai

August 12, 2015 at 5:31 pm

9 Responses

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  1. Great to see you back! Also so the right choice!! xxx


    August 12, 2015 at 5:37 pm

    • Thank you! 🙂 I hope to keep it up a bit better now!


      August 12, 2015 at 6:16 pm

      • Me too – I really enjoy your posts! Yours was the first Dubai Blog I read when I moved here and it really sold the place to me!


        August 13, 2015 at 12:09 pm

  2. Welcome back – we missed you!

    Mary Martin

    August 13, 2015 at 1:43 am

  3. Your Star Trek recollection faux pas are so good they are annoying the 1980s space nerd in me!

    You are mean though. I’d have let me wife sit there for 3 hours or maybe even 4!!


    August 13, 2015 at 10:05 am

    • LOL, that was Star Wars wasn’t it!!!


      August 13, 2015 at 10:22 am

      • Uh huh. Oh, and Dr. Spock is the renowned Pediatrician.

        It was Mr. Spock who was the First Officer of the Starship Enterprise

        #Iamsosad #Ishouldgooutmore lol


        August 13, 2015 at 11:39 am

  4. Don’t blame yourself. Once your’re done with the hanger, the queue goes a long way. Then there’s another waiting room. THEN you get your measurements and stuff done. I was expecting maybe an hour, took me about 4.


    August 13, 2015 at 10:31 am

  5. Whoops!!!


    August 13, 2015 at 5:21 pm

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