The marriage plans of a five-year-old boy
It’s been a week of mixed feelings for me: DS has finally realised that he might marry someone other than Mummy.
The lucky girl is a pretty, blue-eyed blonde – let’s call her A. it’s a good match – she’s a lovely girl with nice parents and I can absolutely imagine DS’s future in-laws sipping wine together with DH and I into our dotage.
But then tragedy: DS came home from school in high dudgeon.
“I’m not marrying A anymore. She pushed me in the playground and, when I took umbrage with her [I’m paraphrasing], she said ‘I don’t care’. So I’m not going to marry her.”
“I’m going to marry B. She’s very nice. And she said that if I marry her, she’ll give me a big phone.”
Me [lost for words]: “… ???” [I said it with eyebrows.]
“Yes, a big one. She’ll make it out of paper.” DS at this point threw me a look of apology lest I thought he’d meant a Samsung Galaxy. “Anyway, so I’m going to marry her.”
“Okay darling. There’s plenty of time to decide.”
I thought that was the end of it but, later, there was a bedtime twist.
“Actually, I am going to marry A,” said DS, snuggling into his bed with a smile. “I still like her. I’ll marry her first, then B. And then, after that, I’ll marry C. She’s nice too. Good night , Mummy.”
“Good night” my little serial monogamist.