Dubai's Desperate Housewife

Trials and traumas of a full-time mum in Dubai

It’s that Dragon Mart time of year

with one comment

Chinese New Year in Dubai means two things: specials at Dubai’s Chinese restaurants, and lot of Western women lost in Dragon Mart (for the uninitiated, this is a mall the size of the universe [twice] that sells only things made in China).

How could you go wrong?

How could you go wrong?

I see the Western ladies there: like me, they’ve popped in for five minutes to pick up a shiny nylon outfit for their child’s school’s Chinese New Year celebrations but, two hours later, having wandered from section A to section G in search of ‘textiles’ (GA/GB if you’re wondering), they’re fanning themselves in the car park as they give directions to the Pakistani truck driver who’s to deliver to their home in The Villa 20 square metres of fake grass, a garden swing, a plastic slide set for the children, a crystal chandelier, 15 bougainvillea plants, a remote controlled helicopter, a fluffy beanbag, two carpets, a plastic cow that moos, dancing speakers, a tropical fish tank, a jellyfish, and a treadmill.

If they’ve done a thorough job, hidden in their handbags you may also find ‘hip-up gel’, horse shampoo,  ‘snake serum’ for shiny hair, a fake designer bracelet, a golden waving Chinese cat, at least one pair of Brazilian fake-bum pants and a Minion iPad cover for the kids.

Kung Hei Fat Choy, ladies. See you there next year!

Brazilian fake-bum pants. Every woman over 40 needs a pair.

Brazilian fake-bum pants. Every woman over 40 needs a pair.

 

IMG_0383 (640x576)

Waving Chinese cats. Your guests will love them.

 

And Hip-Up and Buttock Gel,  Breast Gel, and Horse Shampoo.  Who could resist?

And Hip-Up and Buttock Gel, Breast Gel, and Horse Shampoo. Who could resist?

 

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Written by mrsdubai

January 30, 2014 at 9:25 pm

One Response

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  1. i have HOWLED at this post! so very true!

    kelly1814

    January 31, 2014 at 2:19 pm


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