Dubai's Desperate Housewife

Trials and traumas of a full-time mum in Dubai

Things I never have to do again…

with 3 comments

Over the Christmas holidays, DS learned to ride his bike. In terms of undesirable things ones must do as a parent, teaching my children how to ride a bike is, because of all the back-breaking, bent-over running that goes with it, for me, right up there with potty training (think: on your knees in grotty public toilets saying ‘psssss’; wees on the side of 12-lane highways; and little puddles all over the living room floor).

Learning to ride his own bike... quite a watershed for Mummy

Learning to ride his own bike… quite a watershed for Mummy

And, just like potty-training, riding a bike is one of those things you think they’re never going to get the hang of. It just seems too difficult but, one day, out of the blue: bingo, they get it, and you laugh big belly laughs up at the sky, wondering what you ever worried about.

But this Christmas it was more than that. I felt, when DS pedalled off into the horizon on his own two wheels, that we’d passed a watershed; that, at four and a half, he’d suddenly become a lot more grown up; more manageable. I realised that I would never have to teach another child of mine to ride a bike.

And then I thought about all the other things I’m relieved to say I’ll never have to do again:

  • Give birth.
  • Breast-feed.
  • Lose the baby weight.
  • Change a nappy.
  • Shop at Mothercare and Mamas and Papas.
  • Squirt Calpol Infant into a reluctant mouth in the wee hours.
  • Heave a pram into the car.
  • Find a lost dummy down the side of the bed at 4am.
  • Worry about the quality of care at nursery schools.
  • Purée vegetables.

And then I thought about all the things that still lie in wait for me:

  • Waving DD off on the Y6 skiing trip (how will I do that?).
  • Getting the children into suitable senior schools.
  • Coaching the children through GCSEs and A-levels.
  • Talking to the children about all those icky subjects like drugs, sex and social media.
  • Meeting DS’s first serious girlfriend (poor love, she’ll never be good enough).
  • Thinking up ways to stop DD going out in her dodgy boyfriend’s car.
  • Actually, come to think of it, thinking up ways to stop DD going out at all.
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Written by mrsdubai

January 8, 2014 at 7:07 pm

3 Responses

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  1. Haha brilliant.. After reading this post realized how much I missed reading your blog..reread quite a few previous posts and left me with a big smile. Thank you

    Jay

    January 8, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    • Haha brilliant.. After reading this post realized how much I missed reading your blog..reread quite a few previous posts and left me with a big smile. Thank you

      Jay

      January 28, 2014 at 9:32 am

      • Apologies for the white-out. I will be back to it ASAP! x

        mrsdubai

        January 30, 2014 at 9:13 pm


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