Welcome to Question Time!
One thing they never tell you about becoming a parent is how you suddenly have to negotiate life while answering a constant stream of questions.
Whatever you’re doing as a mum, whether it’s filling in passport renewal forms, working, driving at 120kph, meeting the financial advisor, having a phone conversation or sitting on the loo, is punctuated with questions pitched with such urgency you’d think the world would stop turning if a satisfactory reply wasn’t given at once.
Sometimes the questions don’t even have simple answers:
“Why can’t we go to McDonalds?”
“Is Zanzibar a place or a flavour?”
“Why doesn’t it snow here?”
“How many hours till Christmas?”
“Where are my blue shorts?”
Why can’t we have ice cream?”
“What happens when you die?”
“Can I have a heart-shaped birthday cake?”
“What are we doing next summer?”
“Do any of the biscuits we have at home have writing on?” (this gem as I was trying to prevent us from being squished between two speeding 40-foot container trucks on Mohammed bin Zayed Road).
Research has shown that mothers can be subjected to up to 300 kiddie questions a day – that’s one every two minutes. Times that by as many children you have and, well, no wonder I can’t even decide if I want a cup of tea come four o’clock: “Yes? No? Maybe? Herbal? English Breakfast? Earl Grey?” Gaaah!