The obsolete printer
The title says it all, really, doesn’t it? I don’t think a single one of us is unfamiliar with that sinking feeling when we realise our sparkly new investment electronic gadget is actually, um, out of date. To be honest, you kind of expect it when it comes to Apple products, don’t you? iPad 1, for example? Tee hee.
But my printer. Well, I’ve had it under four years. It was an all-singing, all-dancing job that I’d actually managed to install and use without any problems. I could photocopy, scan and print on it without ever having a problem. Every time I looked at it I got little buzz of joy that, after years of argumentative Inkjet hell, I’d finally invested in this fantastic piece of equipment that had such a positive impact on my quality of life.
But on the weekend it started to rattle. Not a little, but so loudly I was worried it would wake up the children. It rattled so hard the desk shook. And then it refused to pick up paper.
So I did what every housewife would do: I turned it off, unplugged it, stroked it a little, had a chat with it, then turned it on again. More rattling.
I Googled the problem. Despite knowing that my printer’s issue was known in tech circles as “the death rattle”, I called HP Support. I should have known, when they couldn’t even locate the serial number in their files, that we were dealing with a piece of history, not a four-year-old printer that had gone prematurely wrong.
Still, they suggested I bring it in to their Total Care centre. Who laughed out loud before they put it under a glass case in their “obsolete models” museum.
And the worst thing is: I’d just bought three XL packs of ink for it. They probably cost more than a new printer.