The ‘80s concert – aka Rick Astley and his Housewives
This may sound odd, but the last time I went to an ‘80s night was, well, in the ‘80s. To me, the ‘80s was a painful decade; a time of fluorescent green fingerless gloves, of leg-warmers worn over drainpipe jeans, of ra-ra skirts and electric-blue batwing jumpers.
And of matching electric-blue eyeshadow. Ouch.
No wonder it’s a decade I’d rather forget.
But DH, he’s a bit of an ‘80s boy. Play him two bars of that ‘80s synthesiser music and he’ll yelp “Oh GOD!” and start dancing like… well, like an ‘80s boy (I put it down to the fact that he’s a tiny bit older than me).
Anyway, as soon as our friends invited us to the ‘80s concert at Dubai Festival City last week, I knew I didn’t stand a chance. My ‘80s-boy husband was desperate to go, so go we did.
The line-up consisted of Carol Decker from T’Pau (pretty good), Heaven 17 (utterly rubbish), Martin Fry from ABC (not bad) and Howard Jones (I was a Nik Kershaw fan – you had to be one or the other – but Howard Jones was actually brilliant on Friday and I knew more of his songs than I thought).
But the highlight of the night for me – as for most of the women there I’m guessing – was that Stock Aitken & Waterman product, Rick Astley. And, as soon as he came on, it was clear he was singing to me: “Get down, housewives!” he shouted rather patronisingly at the crowd given that he must be older than us – but with that comment he said what I’d been thinking all night: That, for the first time ever, I was at a concert not with a load of trendier-than-though 20-somethings, but with a bunch of fellow Desperate Housewives in their 40s.
Not only had we all grown up in the decade that fashion forgot, but we’d all learned to dance at the same time, as witnessed by the those step sequences I saw on Friday that I haven’t seen for nearly 30 years. Bring it on!!
Anyway, Rick Astley – who’s metamorphosed from ‘80s pop icon to entertainer of Desperate Housewives – totally got us with his cheesy lines. In “Together Forever” he sang, “Together – since 1987!!” (and we all took a moment to think: Jesus Christ, was it that long ago?). “Dubai!!” he shouted. “You’re so lucky! Look where you live!!” (Yes baby – and we don’t pay tax!!). And finally, “Come on housewives! Gimme a wiggle to remember on the plane home!”
Anyway it turned out he had a third hit that none of us remembered till it started: “Hold Me in Your Arms”. And there I was at the concert, lost in the teenage-angst of slow-dancing alone at the school disco, wondering if I’d ever get a husband, when DH came over. “Just asked the barman if he remembers any of this,” he said. “And the barman’s like: I was born in 1991.”
Yeah, umm, me too, babe. Me too. O_O