How many types of shoe do you have?
[bear with me, this is a long one]
Since I’ve been thinking about redesigning my wardrobe, it’s come to my attention that I appear to have an embarrassing number of shoes. Abdulla, the wardrobe designer, practically passed out when I said I’d need space for 128 pairs, not the 10 he suggested. But, to be fair, among my shoes, there are a lot of I never wear. “Just get rid of them (and don’t buy more!),” says DH.
But, as any woman knows, it’s not that simple: Just because you don’t wear a shoe doesn’t mean you can live without it. Let me explain. In my wardrobe I have the following types of shoe:
Old faithfuls: These are the shoes that I wear all the time, the ones that don’t give me blisters, the ones that go with everything. Mainly mine are wedges or gold sandals (see below). Ideally old faithfuls would make up at least 90 per cent of the shoes in any wardrobe but, in reality, mine only count for about 10 per cent of the shoe total. I need to address this ratio.
Old, old faithfuls: These are the shoes that used to be my old faithfuls but are now too old or broken to wear. Yet, because I loved them so much and because they were so useful for so many years, I simply can’t bear to throw them out. I need to throw them out.
Going-out shoes: Every girl needs some good going-out shoes. I’m just not sure that someone who goes out as little as I do needs as many pairs as I have. There are five pairs of spike heels in beige alone. Then there are beige courts, black courts, patent courts, snakeskin courts, patent black courts, beige patent courts, black patent spike sling-backs, spike-heeled mules, satin heels, jewelled heels, Mary-Janes and downright FM shoes. Almost every shoe in this category is neutral or black. With the exception of the one pair of spike-heel neutral sandals I always wear when I go out, they all cripple me. I need to reduce and diversify.
Wedges – Don’t judge me (I was born in the 70s) but I love my wedges. They go with everything from jeans and shorts to maxi-dresses. Black, white, neutral , leopard print – I have them all. Nearly every single pair is an old faithful. Success!
Flats: These are divided into ballet pumps, which I never wear (three pairs – I need to stop kidding myself, they need to go) and strappy sandals. I live in sandals – many of them are old faithfuls. Many of them are gold – which brings me onto…
Gold shoes: Well, what do you expect? I live in Dubai. Every Dubai girl ends up with some bling in her wardrobe, be it gold sunglasses, bikinis, belts or shoes (or all of the above). I used to have just one pair of gold shoes for Indian weddings; now I realise just how useful gold is – it goes with everything, it looks amazing with navy and it adds polish to jeans and a white shirt. I now have four pairs of gold flats and have been known to do the school run at 7.30am in gold wedges. I will defend my gold shoes to the end of the earth.
Silver shoes: Not as successful as gold shoes as I have “warm” colouring. But I still maintain two pairs – one flat, one heels – “just in case”.
Trophy shoes: These are a sensitive category. They were generally bought in the sales. Their uniting feature is their posh label: Tod’s, Prada, Moschino, Jimmy Choo, Louboutin, YSL. Needless to say, I never wear any of them – but I do take them out and stroke them every now and then, and I think I wore the Moschino ones in 2002. Probably they all need to be Dubizzled.
Flip-flops: It’s sad to admit, but I have quite a few pairs of flip-flops. There are black patent ones, nubuck leather ones, navy Step ‘n’ Tones, white ones, brown ones, jewelled ones and gold ones. They’re pretty useful. Many are old faithfuls; some are limited to the beach.
Boots: It’s difficult to be up to date with boots when you live in a country with a climate that barely falls below 20C. So I have black knee boots (pointy-toed and datedbut if I wait long enough they might come back? ), classic brown suede knee boots (“Kate Middletons”), one pair of beige, heeled ankle boots, two pairs of beige cowboy boots (both old faithfuls both in Dubai’s winter the UK’s summer), one pair of brown platform, high-heeled ankle boots (never been worn, got to go), a very old pair of black Chelsea boots (I bought them in Italy, they are so finely made I can’t bear to throw them away even though I haven’t worn them since 1993), and beige Uggs bought in 2004.
Trainers: I have five pairs. How does a girl who never goes to the gym have five pairs of trainers? 1 – black Reebok, for cycling. 2 – beige Keds, for general wear. 3 – old, knackered Nike, live downstairs and are used on the PowerPlate. 4 – MBTs. 5 – Nike, for jogging (obviously not used very much).
Shoes I never wear: But, presumably, think I one day will. Pairs that spring to mind: Grey woven-leather ankle-strap heels; brown and brass triangle-heel wedges; same wedges in black and gold; brown nubuck flat sandals (a size too big, bought immediately post-partum when feet grossly swollen); Dune cut-out, spike-heeled hooker shoes (what was I thinking)…
How about you?