Brazilian “Secret Envy” pants – who knew?

I don’t know how I’ve got through life so far without hearing about Brazilian “Secret Envy” pants. Perhaps it’s because I’ve always focused on losing weight off my bum, British-style, rather than stashing junk in my trunk, Brazilian-style. 

However, since passing 40, I’ve noticed a trend in the opposite direction – my bottom, which was once quite rounded, is getting flatter (the “l” is quite important in that word).

And getting flatter is not good. My daily lament to DH has gone from “does my bum look big in this?” to “where’s my bum gone?”

And it’s not just me: In the paper today, a top Dubai-based cosmetic surgeon said bum implants had overtaken boob jobs in terms of popularity in Dubai. To be honest, though, while I’ve noticed a flattening of the area, I don’t care enough to get implants in my bum cheeks (did you all see that story last week about the woman whose bum implants shifted?).

But it was with some interest that I saw an ad for these Brazilian “Secret Envy” pants. Key selling points include “preformed, contoured microfiber that highlights the contour of a woman’s bottom in a very natural way,” and “central sewing to maintain the shape of the buttocks.” Apparently they’ll add avaluable extra inch to one’s bottom contour.

Seriously.

Well… DH was wondering what to get me for Christmas…

Note the central “bum” seam. Nice.