Dubai's Desperate Housewife

Trials and traumas of a full-time mum in Dubai

Why I hate lullabies

with 2 comments

One of DS’s little peccadillos is that he likes me to sing him to sleep.  And, while I don’t particularly enjoy this activity, my eagerness to get back downstairs for a cold glass of wine and some supper means I usually cave in and warble something. My favourite is “Baa Baa Black Sheep” as it’s short and doesn’t contain much potential for argument.

Yes, argument. 

I couldn’t have said it better myself

For DS is not the sort of child who lies back and drifts off to sleep. I could be singing “She’ll be coming round the mountain” and he’ll jump up in his bed and ask, “Why ‘silk’ pyjamas, mummy?” or “How is she riding six white horses when there’s only one of her?” or “Why isn’t she driving her car?” followed by “What car would it be, mummy, if she was driving?”

Talk about frustrating dot com.

But the worst song – which is also DS’s favourite bedtime song – is “The Wheels on the Bus”. Oh, how he loves that song. And, oh, how I hate it. A standard rendition usually goes something like this:

“The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round.”

At least I can get that bit right. And the wipers that go swish, swish swish. But then we hit trouble.

“The doors on the bus go open and close…”

“Open and shut, mummy. Shut!”

[continue singing] “Open and shut, open and shut.”

“The daddies on the bus shout what’s that noise…”

“No, the daddies shout ‘What’s that noise?’ Louder, mummy!”

[sing in shouty singing voice] “What’s that noise, what’s that noise?”

I manage to get through the crying babies and chatting mummies and finally draw the song to a close with the people bouncing up and down. Silence. I start to creep out of the room.

 “You forgot the teachers,” says a little voice in the dark.

“What do the teachers do?”

“The teachers on the bus go shh-shh-shh.”

No, DS. You’re wrong. It’s actually the mummies creeping down the stairs for wine o’clock who go shh-shh-shh. Now, in the words of the Adam Mansbach book, go the **** to sleep!


2 Responses

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  1. My 2 year old daughter sings “Blah Blah Black sheep” – its the coolest nursery rhyme ever! But I am with you on nursery rhymes, argh, so boring.


    October 16, 2012 at 7:58 pm

  2. Hilarious! My daughter loves wheels on the bus too, but hasn’t reached the questioning stage. And now that I’ve said that, she’s going to start tomorrow morning itself 😦

    And you know what, I’m pathetic at singing stuff too, so when she was born, I made up a little tune that I would hum to her and that’s what I still hum!


    October 16, 2012 at 8:14 pm

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