Dubai's Desperate Housewife

Trials and traumas of a full-time mum in Dubai

9 problems of a Dubai school mum

with 12 comments

This morning, Dubai 92 breakfast show presenters Catboy & Geordiebird – the only people worth listening to in the morning – talked about a speculative list of rap star Jay-Z’s 99 problems that’s been posted on the internet. You know, things like a growing addiction to Coke and Mountain Dew; not drinking enough water; worrying about which is the healthiest cooking oil; and a three-week stalemate with [wife] Beyonce regarding a “particular” baby name [Blue Ivy, for those who aren’t aware].

I caught it as I was driving home from a meeting at school and it got me thinking about the type of problems we Dubai mums face. Tongue in cheek of course. So here goes:

“One must look perfect at all times” – the mantra of the Dubai school mum

          Whether or not to admit to other mums that you sometimes let your child eat McDonalds.

          BlackBerry or iPhone?

          Do I need a seven-seater?

          How to stop bleached highlights looking yellow.

          Finding a water-tight excuse to get out of being Class Rep.

          How much makeup at 7.30am?

          Is it okay to offer 800PIZZA on a play date? Or is N_K_D more acceptable?

          If you wear exercise gear at pick-up, will people believe you’ve actually been exercising all morning?

          And, finally, the million-dollar Dubai school mum problem: What to wear at morning drop-off.

Edited to add: Check out the Catboy & Geordiebird Facebook page for more hilarious ideas from Dubai 92 listeners. Apparently they’re going to talk about this on the radio tomorrow!


12 Responses

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  1. 1. Yes. More nervous of admitting I sometimes allow their children to eat McDonalds

    2. Neither – kids would nick them to play games on. Cheap Samsung clone phone that your child is too embarassed to be seen with every time.

    3. Absolutely not. People will start asking you to bring their children home for them.

    4. Die your hair brown.

    5. Don’t get close enough to the teacher in the first two weeks to give them a chance to ask.

    6. None. Wear very big sunglasses.

    7. Neither. They’re already full of McDonalds.

    8. In my case, not in a million years!

    9. Oh, how I wish I could get away with pyjamas. Have occasionally worn bottoms OR top. Building up to the complete set. Slippers too.



    September 18, 2012 at 2:05 pm

  2. I know people like this….!

    Leonie Bartlett

    September 18, 2012 at 2:21 pm

  3. awesome


    September 18, 2012 at 5:53 pm

  4. Love this, I miss Dubai

    Expat Mammy

    September 18, 2012 at 6:58 pm

  5. Gosh, your blog is a hoot!

    Africa far and wide

    September 19, 2012 at 3:34 pm

  6. You never fail to get me laughing. Oh the world of Dubai!

    Table for One

    September 20, 2012 at 4:00 am

  7. Came across your blog from another dubai blog…..and so glad to have done so. My daughter is just starting playschool….and I’ve been thinking of stuff like this! Goodbye morning snooze, hello early morning frazzled me!

    On mcdonalds….I’ve let DD taste a burger and fries once or twice…ok twice…..and always looked around guiltily 😦


    September 22, 2012 at 8:11 pm

  8. And how to drive at the perfect speed to avoid your cappuccino spilling (I’ve just read that post!)


    September 29, 2012 at 12:01 am

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