Dubai's Desperate Housewife

Trials and traumas of a full-time mum in Dubai

Why don’t I have anything to wear?

with 7 comments

Some mornings, it’s like Groundhog Day in our house: Me, standing naked in front of the wardrobe, showered, makeup on, wardrobe doors open to reveal 780 outfits bursting out, whining to DH: “I’ve got nothing to wear.”

DH, of course, has a variety of replies that range from “Darling, you look good in everything” to “Oh for god’s sake, stop buying so much crap”, depending on his mood.

Sometimes he even takes a photo of me standing there naked to make me hurry up – trust me, there’s nothing like seeing your backside in the full light of day to make you get dressed quickly (I hope he never loses his phone!).

But what I’d like to share with you on this topic is this: At the ripe old age of 41, I’ve suddenly realised why I never have anything to wear, despite having two full closets.

My lastest purchase. Incompatible with sandy school car parks, worse luck.

It’s because I still buy clothes – beautiful  clothes – for a lifestyle that I no longer lead.

My wardrobe is chock-a-block full of divine office clothes and glamorous evening-out clothes. I collect dresses, for example, like other people collect speeding tickets. I love them. I love the cuts, the fabrics, the colours. I buy them in colour blocks and in stripes; I buy shifts, gowns and sheaths; in linens, silks and shimmering satins.

And I buy high heels to go with them. Vertiginously high, strappy sandals by Vince Camuto, from Tod’s, and from Russell & Bromley. They’re beautiful shoes, delicately scented of leather. I know, because I get them out every now and then and I stroke them.

But do I wear them? The high heels and the dresses?

Hell no. I don’t wear them because my life – which consists largely of walking through deep sand in 45˚C to pick up two or three children, then slow-walking back through the sand lugging a couple of backpacks while holding on to a few sticky children – is not compatible with silk shift dresses and Vince Camuto heels.

What I need is a wardrobe of shorts, of vests and of flip-flops. But where’s the fun in buying those? That, friendos, I now understand, is why I have nothing to wear.

7 Responses

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  1. Haha, sounds so familiar, must work harder on going out more so I can wear my sexy clothes……says I sat on sofa wearing shorts and a vest top!!!!


    September 6, 2012 at 7:36 pm

  2. i am so guilty of doing this! and always end up in Liz Hurley white jeans!

    Britney of Arabia

    September 18, 2012 at 10:19 am

  3. Hi Mrs Dubai,I love that shoes,where you get russell and bromley in Dubai? Thanks



    September 18, 2012 at 8:04 pm

  4. Hahaha…i keep laughing till now reading it…hehehe… Thx for making me laugh
    _from another desperate HW@DubDub 😉


    September 27, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    • So glad to have made you laugh. I did the school run in tatty shorts,a vest and flip-flops today. You should have seen the other mums’ faces. xox


      September 27, 2012 at 11:06 pm

  5. “I have nothing to wear” said by a woman means “I want to go shopping”. Said by a man, it means “I haven’t done any laundry or ironing” ( a bachelor, that is…).


    September 29, 2012 at 12:06 am

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