Dubai's Desperate Housewife

Trials and traumas of a full-time mum in Dubai

Mango’s giant clientele

with 2 comments

If you’ve ever rented or lived in an old stone cottage in the UK, thanks to the low doorways on which you’ll regularly bash your brains out, you’ll know what I mean when I say that people are getting bigger. We’ve all seen the stats about how much fatter the average housewife has become in the last 60 years – the Daily Mail blames it on housewives “not using as much elbow grease when doing the housework.”

But I tell you, Daily Mail, it burns quite a lot of calories telling Gerlie what to do each day, then stressing about whether or not she’s doing it right. I dare you to come here with your tape measure.

Anyway, I digress, aside from our new, 21st century curvy boob-waist-hip ratio, people, in general, are becoming taller – and no company knows this better than Mango, which is ahead of the game with this season’s collections of super-long clothes made for giants.

I’ve long been fond of the maxi-dress. In fact, two that I bought from Mango circa 2006 are still going strong, much to DD’s disgust. But this year, it’s been a disaster trying to buy anything new from Mango because their maxi-dresses are simply so goddamned long. Their in-house model must be, I swear, Long Tall Sally. On stilts.

Let me show you – I am five foot nine (1.75m) and this is the amount of fabric that pools on the floor when I wear a S/S 2012 Mango maxi-dress – while wearing 3.5” (9cm) wedges (that’s a total height of 6 foot and a half, or 184cm). 

Okay, I was having a chambray moment. But ignore the colour and look at the length! I could parachute in that!

And yes, I know Mango has in-house tailors who will alter the frocks for you – but, having just had a brand new dress ruined by the in-house tailor who a) hemmed above my pinned line so the dress now swings jauntily around my lower calf and b) sewed it so badly it looks like DS did it while blindfolded, I’m loathe to go there.“Oh,” said the cashier after that alteration, “We’re having problems hemming that fabric. It’s very difficult.”

Yes, dear. 350 wasted Dirhams later, I see.

Mango, get a grip. You may be manufacturing for a wedge to be worn under your dresses, but the average height of a Spanish woman is just 161cms; 163cms for a Brit. If I, at 175cm, am struggling in my 9cm wedges…. who on earth do your dresses fit?


Written by mrsdubai

June 13, 2012 at 6:13 pm

2 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. the in-house tailor at Mango is a total muppet. I too bought a dress from there last year made for a giant and had it altered – it now gaily swings around my upper ankles and I look like an extra from the Waltons. Have worn it (with flat shoes and a very slouchy stance) approximately once.


    June 13, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: