Dubai's Desperate Housewife

Trials and traumas of a full-time mum in Dubai

The Mummy Olympics

with 10 comments

I expect most mothers of small children feel as far from being Olympic-ready athletes as is humanely possible. But we mums, we have other strengths. Based on DS’s unexpected attack of the vomits last night, I’ve been thinking about some events for the Mummy Olympics:

Fenella limps to the finish line in the sauna pick-up. She’s won Gold!!

 

Athletics:

          Catch the projectile vomit.

          The car-seat-strap challenge.

          Dress the wriggly baby.

          Make it to the potty on time.

Races:

          The two-at-a-time stair sprint.

          The night-time stair creep.

          The school pick-up relay (three children, three pick-ups, one mum).

          The heels-in-the-sand derby.

          Dinner for eight (one vegetarian, one coeliac, two toddlers – 20 mins and ticking).

          Packed lunches at dawn (each pack to contain protein, carbs, dairy and fresh fruit/veg).

Skills:

          Gone in 60 seconds (who can cook the tastiest supper?).

          Disguise the left-overs.

          The freezer challenge (how many boxes can you fit in 7 cubic feet)?

          Pole-position school-parking.

          Spot the fake handbag.

          Where’s the driver? (direct him on the phone from BurJuman to Repton).

          The Pidgin-English marathon (get through 24 hours without using a grammatical sentence).

Endurance:

          The sauna pick-up (15 minutes’ walk, 45˚C, three children).

          Sleepless Sunday (on how little sleep can you function?).

          The screaming toddler on Emirates Road game (how long till you snap?).

          The broken air-con endurance test.

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Written by mrsdubai

June 6, 2012 at 5:52 pm

10 Responses

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  1. Haha this is so funny but surreal cause it’s rooted in truth!

    mehmudah

    June 6, 2012 at 6:06 pm

  2. You are a comedy genius!
    Why are you not internationally famous?

    jo

    June 7, 2012 at 1:34 am

  3. […] being gone for such a long time isn’t all plain sailing, by any means. Inspired by Mrs Dubai’s brilliant Mummy Olympics post, I’ve been thinking about some Olympic events that expats the world over would be in great shape […]

  4. This is priceless! I love your blog, you’re an absolute riot!

    shalini

    September 22, 2012 at 9:05 pm

  5. oh my god, you’re not going to believe this! When I read this about an hour back, I thought to myself, thank god DD hasn’t tossed up in a while, and then an hour later, I’m cleaning up vomit in her cot, from her hair, oh poor thing! And then I had to open up her pillow to take out the special soft wool since it’s not machine washable…lovingly gifted by grandparents, of course! By opening I mean, actually opening the stitches on the pillow cloth…..then washing the wool…which I was quite impressed at how soft it was….and tomorrow morning, once it dries in the sun, stitch it back up.

    And that’s how my early quiet night went!

    shalini

    September 22, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    • Oh Shalini, I feel for you. I hope both DD and the wool recover today. Did you get any sleep after the vomiting, or was there more? Just checked out your blog – I love your photographs 🙂

      mrsdubai

      September 23, 2012 at 7:29 am

      • Thanks mrs dubai! Thankfully no more, and we did get some sleep after 130am, and luckily she slept in till 730am.

        ha ha, the wool is fine…..dd is still feverish and achy, so another few days of this kind of stuff.

        btw, did you see the One Day in Dubai on BBC….with your name, it seems like you should be in it!

        shalini

        September 23, 2012 at 5:34 pm

  6. Yes, these are all Olympic sports. Where’s my medal, then?

    Iota

    September 29, 2012 at 12:15 am


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