The Mummy Olympics
I expect most mothers of small children feel as far from being Olympic-ready athletes as is humanely possible. But we mums, we have other strengths. Based on DS’s unexpected attack of the vomits last night, I’ve been thinking about some events for the Mummy Olympics:
– Catch the projectile vomit.
– The car-seat-strap challenge.
– Dress the wriggly baby.
– Make it to the potty on time.
– The two-at-a-time stair sprint.
– The night-time stair creep.
– The school pick-up relay (three children, three pick-ups, one mum).
– The heels-in-the-sand derby.
– Dinner for eight (one vegetarian, one coeliac, two toddlers – 20 mins and ticking).
– Packed lunches at dawn (each pack to contain protein, carbs, dairy and fresh fruit/veg).
– Gone in 60 seconds (who can cook the tastiest supper?).
– Disguise the left-overs.
– The freezer challenge (how many boxes can you fit in 7 cubic feet)?
– Pole-position school-parking.
– Spot the fake handbag.
– Where’s the driver? (direct him on the phone from BurJuman to Repton).
– The Pidgin-English marathon (get through 24 hours without using a grammatical sentence).
– The sauna pick-up (15 minutes’ walk, 45˚C, three children).
– Sleepless Sunday (on how little sleep can you function?).
– The screaming toddler on Emirates Road game (how long till you snap?).
– The broken air-con endurance test.