Dubai's Desperate Housewife

Trials and traumas of a full-time mum in Dubai

How to get rid of “mum face”

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Victoria Beckham suffers from, according to the Daily Mail, “mum face”.

And, by that, they don’t mean the kind, care-worn face of a loving parent, but a knackered one, aka dark circles under her eyes, grey skin and a gaunt look.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels a flicker of sympathy, especially when I look in the mirror myself. Admittedly, I don’t jet around the world with four kids in tow, run a fashion empire and keep a fit footballer interested – but I do drive around Dubai (hundreds of kms a day sometimes), write a blog, work part-time, keep a gorgeous husband interested and do an awful lot of cooking (which I’m sure La Becks does not).

Anyway the dear Daily Mail went on to suggest how to “banish mum face” using products, treatments and diet (obviously for VB, the answer is to eat more chips, stop taking transatlantic flights like we do taxis, and use birth control from now on).

But I feel I should tell you how I’ve been combating “mum face” myself in the last few weeks. There has been some improvement in the “crumpled” look I have in the mornings, a definite reduction in eye puffiness, and increased radiance.

The question is, which action has been the most effective?

1)      Facial acupuncture – I’ve now completed four appointments. While I’m beginning to hate being pricked with 30 needles once a week, I do enjoy the extra nap-time and I think the acupuncture is responsible for the new lack of puffiness around my eyes, as well as the added radiance due to better circulation. My Chinese doctor asked if I’d seen any “lifting”. I didn’t think I had. But maybe it’s subtle.

2)      Not drinking water late at night – It was always my “thing” to drink buckets of water before bed, to dilute all the Sauvignon, natch, and prevent a hang-over. But the lovely Chinese doctor explained that drinking a litre of water before bed was probably contributing to my eye puffiness as the kidneys can’t deal with all the liquid while you’re asleep so it gathers in places most likely to be spotted by Daily Mail paps. I stopped drinking loads of water at night. I don’t have puffy eyes in the morning anymore.

3)      Taking Perfectil vitamins – They’re supposed to give you good skin, hair and nails. I’m a great believer in working from the inside out, but I keep forgetting to “take with main meal”. I do wonder if “take with large glass of wine” achieves the same result.

4)      Changing my blusher – It’s Bobbi Brown who got me onto this. As a girl who’d used a brown-toned blusher for years, it was a revelation to me how much younger a pink-toned blusher will make you look. I made that change about eight years ago. This month, I switched to an even more pink-toned blusher. I got lots of positive comments along the lines of, “You look amazing. Have you changed your hair?” and “Wow, you look really well.” Heh, heh.

I do suspect, though, that the best thing I can do for anti-aging is to give up wine. And, my dears, I can tell you now, that’s not going to happen. How pink-toned do you think a blusher can get?

Switch from sludgy pink to brighter pink on the apples of your cheeks. It'll take off 10 years.

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