Dubai's Desperate Housewife

Trials and traumas of a full-time mum in Dubai

Cheesy fries for one, please

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Having spent an awful lot of time at the trusty old Golf Club when my mum was over, I haven’t been back for a few weeks now. When you’re a vegetarian who can only eat three dishes on the menu (a spectacular vegetable lasagne, a baked potato and a rather dull veggie club sandwich), you can do a max of three times a week, then you have to give it a break for a while or your stomach starts clenching at the thought of more of the same.

Actually, to be fair, they also do pasta with a tomato sauce (yippee!) and nondescript vegetarian pizza, but, tell me, why would I go to a golf club to eat either of those?

The menu had been the same for, oh, I don’t know how many years. And this comes from one who’s eaten there since before the club house was even built. From when it was a little temporary building that you had to take a golf cart to get to (circa 2004).

So I was back there for the first time in about three weeks the other night and – are you sitting down? – they had changed the menu.  Knowing that a veggie friend of mine who eats there even more frequently than I do had spoken to the manager about the lack of veggie options some time ago, my heart leapt with joy. Perhaps – perhaps! – we could expect something ground-breaking like a, goodness, I don’t know, maybe a veggie quesadilla? A hummus and roast vegetable wrap? A risotto? A goat’s cheese tart? (Okay, now I’m getting ahead of myself).

No such luck. As my panicky eyes skimmed the menu I saw that they’d removed the vegetarian lasagne (I know meat-eaters who loved that lasagne), removed the baked potato and removed the veggie club sandwich. And replaced them with….. nothing.

It’s going to be a lean night, I thought. Hope the napkins are tasty.

And then I spotted my saviour: under “sandwiches and burgers” was the “falafel burger wrap”. Okay, I thought, a juicy chickpea patty with a bit of tahini sauce in Arabic bread – not my favourite, but at least it saved me from having to eat the “cheesy fries” starter for my main course.

 “I’ll have the falafel burger wrap, please,” I told the waiter. “It is vegetarian, isn’t it?”

The look he gave me was priceless. His English wasn’t good enough to say all that went through his mind at that moment, but I’m sure it went along the lines of, “Are you an absolute idiot, white-woman? It says ‘burger’ so what bit of ‘burger’ don’t you understand? Of course it’s made of sodding meat.”

Cheesey fries for one, then. And a sad farewell to the Golf Club from me.

This is what a 'falafel burger wrap' should look like... according to both myself and BBC Good Food

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Written by mrsdubai

May 16, 2011 at 5:51 pm

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