Am I the only one who fancies a gin & slim?

I can understand why you might think that ‘mum visiting + school holidays = more time for me to spend writing’ but, as I’m sure many of you know, it doesn’t work out like that. Not unless I buy mum a polyester uniform and hire her as the babysitter.

At present, I don’t even get to see the computer between 6am and 8pm. Let alone turn it on (“Try dancing naked in front of it,” says DH drily when I complain). And after 8pm, well… let’s just say DH’s had to start poking me to keep me awake, even during Masterchef Australia.

So, with mum here, just as I take off my chauffeur’s hat for the holidays, I put on my tour guide hat – something I enjoy a lot as I get an excuse to do the new touristy things.

So far this trip, we’ve been up the Burj Khalifa (the best bit for DD was the fluffy teddy bear I bought her At The Top but granny quite enjoyed the view); for a two-night break at the Shangri-La Qaryat Al Beri (very nice – though, as DH said when I was relaxing for two minutes by the infinity pool and enjoying the chill-out lounge music, “Are you thinking how much you’d like to come back without the children?”); and, today, around the Underwater Zoo in Dubai Mall (highly recommended; forget the sharks, the prehistoric crabs will give you nightmares).

Meantime, I’m cooking three times a day for five people; trying to keep up with my work; staying on top of the house admin (oh, laugh if you don’t own a home here. If you do, you’ll know what I mean especially as it’s service-fee and a/c cleaning season); arranging DD’s birthday; and keeping the children entertained in a hostile climate.

Given all this, is it really so terrible to fancy a gin by 5 o’clock? (I have quite a high yard-arm in my house; Tool Time fixed it for me). And my question is this: Given the large number of “desperate housewives” living in my little enclave, why doesn’t our local shop stock Slimline tonic? Why not? They’d make a fortune – especially in the school holidays.

I don't know why it's called Mother's Ruin; a daily tipple's probably saved the sanity of millions of mums