The friend without children (we all have them)
Try as you might to maintain friendships with people who don’t have children, sometimes the differences between your lives can just seem insurmountable. Especially, I’ve found, as the kids get a bit older (babies, of course, are portable and can be touted around in various designer containers till they’re able to walk).
“Um, yeah, can I call you back? I’m in the middle of something…”
The other day, a friend who has no children made a snarky comment to me apropos of the fact that, when I fail to return her missed calls, I blame it on the fact that I spend my days running about after two children.
“I’d better get myself some kids,” she wrote icily on Facebook, “so I can get out of calling people back.”
Ouch.
And then, when we finally spoke, she said, “Let’s meet for breakfast.”
“Sure,” I said. I love a good breakfast out. Beats the usual yoghurt and fruit I eat at home and, after the school run, I’m ravenous.
“How about 11am?” she said.
And you ladies who have children? You know exactly what’s wrong with that, don’t you.
Haha! Yes, breakfast dates are 8am – I do vaguely remember that being unthinkable! Now can be fed, caught up with friend and in supermarket by 9.30!
Circles in the Sand
January 23, 2013 at 7:17 pm
I’ve spent 20+ years watching my friends have children and balance motherhood. (Now some of those friends’ kid’s are starting to have kids. Ouch.) I never had children, but nearly all of my friends did/do. It wasn’t so insurmountable. I learned to be flexible for them during especially those early years, but I always did appreciate when my friends also showed in small ways that they appreciated my efforts and willingness. Like all relationships with people of different lifestyle choices, it’s a two way street.
Diana Mahmoud
January 23, 2013 at 7:56 pm
Diana, you are totally right. As I read your post I realised how utterly one-sided my blog was and I remembered how I used to feel when I was the one without children. Sounds like you are a super friend and I hope your friends appreciate that. Thanks for commenting xox
mrsdubai
January 27, 2013 at 9:20 pm
My friends without children seem to think that they’re going to have babies who will happily sleep in restaurants until 11pm without making a single noise. They don’t understand why we don’t just bring them out with us.
farfromhomemama
January 23, 2013 at 8:06 pm
What it is with 11am then
I don’t have children so I am drawing a blank there.
Ex-Dubai-expat here btw, following you also on Twitter. I wished I could come back… it is my dream place.
Simone**
Simone
January 23, 2013 at 9:01 pm
For me, having been up since 5-something, 11am is practically lunchtime, that is all. I met the friend – but while she ordered croissants, I ordered lunch
C’est la vie. xox
mrsdubai
January 27, 2013 at 9:21 pm
Haha, ok, I get you there.
Reminds me when I was a daycare mum, making brekkie for the little one and coffee for me with closed eyes in the middle of the night.
But I think it is still different with own kids.
xxx
Simone
January 30, 2013 at 5:47 am
Every week we meet for breakfast at 11 – and the time choosed by those who have children (I would prefer earlier). So it depends
Anna
January 23, 2013 at 10:30 pm
send her the link to that article i posted on fb the other day. 11am is breakfast long gone and lunch just around the corner.
matshila
January 23, 2013 at 11:49 pm
Exactement!! xox You want breakfast? See you at 8am!!
mrsdubai
January 27, 2013 at 9:21 pm
Let live to promote dubai
Freelance Writers
January 23, 2013 at 11:51 pm
I think it’s truly important not to think that every childless woman is clueless or insensitive. I am the eldest of 6 children and therefore was a babysitter for large chunks of life. And not surprising why I chose not to have children.
I appreciate the effort of mothers with young children but..friendship is a 2-way street if you want to have a mix of both mother-friends and child-free women as a good friends for long term. Keeping the garden of friendship does require effort from both sides.
Jean
January 26, 2013 at 8:31 am
Jean, you are so right. I agree 100% – was just trying to make a funny story, but I guess it came off too one-sided. xox
mrsdubai
January 27, 2013 at 9:23 pm