The Jellish nail

There are a few basic things we expats forget how to do once we move to Dubai. One is how to wash the car – in Dubai, someone always has to be paid to do it for you – and others that spring to mind are mopping the floors, ironing, indicating when driving, and packing our own bags in the supermarket. The most common one, however, has to be filing our nails.

I’m pleased to say that, even after nearly 13 years here, I still indicate – even when turning into my own driveway and even when no-one’s watching. And that, while I don’t know where the iron’s kept and haven’t a clue how to turn on the vacuum cleaner, I still pack my own bags in the supermarket and do my own nails. Not that there’s much point:  with children, you’re never more than two minutes from a chipped manicure.

But then I read about this new “shellac” manicure, which is said to last two weeks. That’d be worth the mind-numbing boredom of sitting in a nail salon, I thought: half an hour to bung it on, and perfect – unchippable – polish for a fortnight.

So I called up Numpties Anon, the local nail salon and asked for a shellac manicure.

“We call it gel-ish,” said the helpful lady on reception.

I hung up quickly. With nails that are in pretty good shape, the last thing I want is those fake gel nails, and calling it “gel-ish” made it sound like it wasn’t even the real deal. A sort of cheap adaptation invented by the brainboxes at the salon. No thanks.

But then I researched it and found she actually meant Jellish – a long-lasting gel-based polish that has glowing reports on the internet and is seemingly indestructible. I booked my appointment and succumbed to what every other housewife does on a weekly basis ie having a Filipina fawn over my extremities with the sole intention of beautifying them.

So, how was it?

I’ve had the Jellish on for two weeks and one day. If my nails didn’t grow quite so damn fast, it would last even longer. My dark plum “Jellish” has been grated, sliced and banged, yet is still immaculate – if it wasn’t for the hulking great gap where my nails have grown.

And the verdict? Ultimately, I’d recommend it, but only in conjunction with a nutritiously restrictive diet (say, G&T and chips all the time) to slow down nail growth. Otherwise, the Jellish will grow out before you have a chance to ruin it on the cheese grater – and who needs that kind of stress?

The Jellish mani on day 1...

... and on Day 15

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